I moved to Phoenix
You’ll remember that in my last post I had decided on my own to move to Phoenix without my wife and go to MMI (Motorcycle Mechanics Institute) to “restart” my life. Really mature move dude! I had been married a total of 5 years, things weren’t great for us and so I am going to move over 8 hrs away to learn to be a freaking mechanic?? Sure, why not. I packed up my truck and my bikes and left. It really was just about that unceremonious.
I was fortunate enough to have my sister in-law living there with her boy friend and they had an extra room that they let me rent out. I got moved in, and began looking for work. I was enrolled in the night sessions at MMI and my school didn’t start until 6:30pm so I had all day to work. I quickly found a job at a Starbucks that was super close to my apartment and began work.
Quick aside, If you are willing to work, you can find work!!! I won’t go on and on here but please don’t ever complain to me about finding work. I was a stinking barista because it fit my schedule and I was able to show up on time. Back to the story at hand.
I showed up to school and began to learn a skill I had NEVER considered as a career option growing up the son of an attorney and teacher. School was easy, I was making straight A’s without much effort. This didn’t come from any kind of superior intellect (I CLEARLY don’t have that). It came from the fact that I was an adult now and knew what I wanted. I was driven to change my life and so I put forth the effort to do so. I really enjoyed school and learning about motors and how to fix them but while that was happening from 6:30pm to 11:30pm every night, the rest of my life was unraveling!
While working at Starbucks and going to school I also picked up part time work at a local motorcycle shop as an entry level tech. It was a great job to get my feet wet and learn the REAL part of being a mechanic. But this schedule was beating me up. Here is how a normal day went:
Starbucks 6:00am (or earlier sometimes) to 10:30 or 11
Moto shop from 11:30am to 5:30pm
School from 6:30pm to 11:30pm
Home, drink two 40oz Mickeys (I know SUPER classy)
Back up at it. That was week days. I worked Saturdays too but didn’t have school. Sunday was the only day I had to ride and so I did. I would trailer my bike to a track a the crack of dawn on Sunday morning and ride until I couldn’t stand up and then start it all over again.
Every chance I had I would drink to “relax” from all the stress and hustle. Because that is the BEST way to recharge your batteries. Nothing like a 1/5 of whiskey to really get you ready for the next week of tireless work. Wow, l was an idiot!
I was young and strong physically but mentally and emotionally it was killing me slowly. I was drinking at an alarming rate. I really don’t even know how much alcohol I consumed but I can tell you that I would have a lot more money and brain cells right now if I had been able to show some kind of control while I was there. There were a few major problems that caused Phoenix to almost take my soul.
First and foremost I didn’t have God in my life. I had turned so far from Jesus at this point that I couldn’t even hear Him begging me to come back. I made decision based completely on my desires at that moment. At the time it seemed fun. I was hustling for a dream and getting plenty of partying in too. The second massive problem was that my amazing partner in life was 8 hours away. I barely talked to or saw my wife in that 15 months I was down there. This was long before I had a cell phone so texting wasn’t an option and to be honest I was only thinking of myself anyway. I can honestly say I HATE Phoenix. That valley almost took my soul and I narrowly escaped with my marriage. I now know that it wasn’t Phoenix, it was me.
I do have one funny (and sad) story from my time in Phoenix that I'd like to share. So, one evening after leaving school at 11:30 pm I got into my car and started the 20 mile drive home. Now the gas light had been on since I left for school but my painfully small brain didn't remember that and somehow I didn't notice it until I was already on the 101 headed home. I realized how long it had been on and began to get a little worried. This was 12 years ago and there were still sections of the 101 that didn't have gas stations at every stop. I eased my foot off of the accelerator and tried to milk the few drop of gas that must be in the tank to get me to the next gas station. Well... They didn't. As I was approaching an off ramp the car started to buck and snort and then died. Conveniently I was able to coast down the ramp and pull off to the side of the road. There was a gas station but it was over a quarter of a mile away so I walked. No biggie right? When I got there I asked if they had gas cans for sale. The clerk looked at me like I had 3 heads and replied "nope." Hmmm I strolled over to the water section of the cooler to buy the cheapest gallon of water to dump out and fill with gas but then thought to myself... "That isn't funny at all! What would be funny is to buy a 40oz of Mickeys, drink it really fast and then fill that up." Great idea Morgan! Instead of safely being able to take a gallon of gas to your car you are going to get drunk and only carry a little over 1/4 of a gallon to your car. THAT is the kind of person I was. So.. I bought the malt liquor from the attendant (who knew I needed a gas container), chugged the beer, filled the bottle with gas and sauntered back to my car. I poured the gas in, jumped in, fired the car up and away I went. I was so proud of my self for being "funny" that I decided to call everyone I knew when I got home and tell them my story. Needless to say, none of my friends and definitely not Ruth thought it was funny at 12:30 am. This is one of so many instances in my life where God took care of the fool because He must have something bigger for me to do!
Thanks again for reading! I don’t know what I am doing, I am just sharing my journey and I hope it helps or entertains some of you. If you have any comments, leave them below. If you have any stories or things you want to share on social media, use the hashtag #istilldontknowwhatimdoing
Thanks again and talk to you tomorrow!